Tuesday, 29 May 2012

Love Beyond Boundaries


Looked at the starry sky,
Felt the breeze rustle by,
Far away birds sing so high,
I sit by the window and sigh,
Wondering how one can feel so much,
So much to lose oneself in them!

'Tis havoc in mind,mayhem in heart,
Every drop hits the vein,like a mighty dart,
In none cud I find the charm,
In none cud I look for grace.

Frozen heart craves no love nor connects with brain,
Pale faced embraces silence as the blood drain,
Impenetrable hard day’s n sleepless nights,
Unaware of the dark sun stashing the bright light.

Wind swayed like slow waves,
Compassing the direction westward end,
Mystique night playing tricks and bringing this episode to an end.

Over the sky,across the stars,
Love knows no barriers,flaunt no bars,
And the day had come,to make ends meet,
To make earth-heaven,to make life complete.

Breezing around in the starry night,felt like a starry delight
His warm embrace,made the night lovably bright
Danced through the cloud,chasing the stars,
Enchantress night playing the tune,enjoying the fun,
Aside chuckled the moon,smiled the stars.




















But love was destined to met tragic ends,
Grief stricken like lost lover,
Mourns the stars,cried the moon,
Dimmering the light of the day,
Kissing the silence of the night.

Looked at the empty sky,
Stars rejected to glisten up high,
Felt the breeze fall silent tonight,
The wind changed its path that night,
Far across birds stopped singing,
Preferring to go off sleeping,
Waves lashing the hard rock upon the beach,
Feeling the pain of the rock is out of the sea's reach.

Sitting by the window like a lonely castle,
Muzzy mind,
Body mutated,
Images of bygone love hovering above,
Silence striding like a knight upon a horse,
Complaining heavens for the melancholy life,
Never realising when numb brain &
Broken heart had started a life long battle...

Two Faces of a Coin

Today on this perfect,quiet afternoon,as I had nothing much to do,so I decided to sleep.
But suddenly a thought woke me up,as if I was in some sort of a trance and now just pulled back to reality.

There was whispering,slowly growing louder and louder until I heard clearly,so loud enough that I could hear two strangely known feminine voices quarreling about something.I asked my brother sitting beside me if he heard them too.
He simply nodded 'No!',and looked back to the computer screen and continued with his work.I realized no one could hear it,except me!It was as if those voices came from within.

So I closed my eyes(*so that i could see them*), rested on a pillow and tried to listen to them.

There was two ladies seated opposite to each other,one dressed in full white and the other  in black.They turned to reveal their faces,and shockingly they looked just not only alike but they were two images of me,those two were two me,dressed differently.
They were two personalities of me.I,though couldn't make out why were they dressed in black and white(*there are so many different colors though*) but may be it signified the same old thing,white-good and black-bad or the evil.Suddenly I deviated my thought from the debate about the color to the reason why they were quarreling.They were quarreling about their nature(*was easy enough to find that out*).

Both of them were quite,then the Black spoke(*loudly,rudely in aggression*) breaking the silence of the afternoon.

'You are weak,infirm and vulnerable,you live on lies!'

The White spoke(*intrigued and her mood all lighted up*)
'No I am not,may be I am not strong enough like you,but I don't really live on lies,at least!'

'You of course do,you feel pathetic about everything that goes wrong in your life blaming others for it,and crying tons and tons thinking that's the only solution out.'

'Its right I cry,but its because I get sad when things don't workout my way.'

'Why?I don't see any need for those tears.Why don't you try to find any solution to the problem instead.Its because you believe the false.For you the mirror only magnifies your beauty,but to me its shows the reality!'

'I always believe everything around us is for good,I am an optimistic person after all.'

'You call yourself optimistic!Its the most funny thing about you,you always believe what you want to believe.How can you call yourself OPTIMISTIC,when you are not!'

'How can you say that?What makes you think that way?'

'How can I think that,what makes me think that!ask yourself.You cry for every pity damn thing soaking your tear stained pillows,you sit with that broken pieces of your heart trying any possible way to mend it.But don't you realize!Don't you see even if you can mend it there would be scars still left on it!'

'Things,situations do change,there is always "Happy Endings..." at the end,its just that one has to keep trying.'

'Ha!Ha!Ha!(*laughs mockingly in sarcastic manner*)are you kidding me!You telling me you believe in happy endings!That's the absurd thing I hear'

'What is so absurd about thinking that way?Don't you agree with me?'

'Of course I don't!
You know what,you are like that Rapunzel,locked up in that tower not having the slightest idea whats the world outside is like,thinking about her prince charming in white unicorn rescuing her,dreaming about dancing with the butterflies to the song of the birds,smelling the beautiful roses and finally getting married to her prince in the grandest  possible way.But have you thought what is the world outside her tower?She can very well dance but can't cross a shaking bridge without the help of the prince,she loves the smell of roses but can't afford to get pricked by the thorns,she can lay down her hair to get out of the tower,but can't face her witch mother alone!She is weak,spineless without the prince.These are Fairy tale,prince-charming exists here but not in the real human world.'

'It does exist,one gets them in form of better half,his/her husband/wife,boyfriend/girlfriend.'

'See there you go,always believing the false!Don't you see real world is far different from the way you describe it.Here if one is faced with little trouble they don't tend to support or sort out things,instead they breakup,freeing themselves as soon as possible.In real world the prince takes no interest to face the witch mother,you face her alone,and its either you win or lose,depends on you,no one but you help yourself.Here in this world no one belongs to anybody!'

'What you are saying is not completely right!There is something called Love that binds people,then there is Courtship that bind two soul together into one.Marriages are made in heaven,after all.'

'Love,Courtship or so called marriages,made in heaven!gawd,you believe all these! ridiculous.If marriages were made in heaven,then there would be no divorces.One would be happy with each other and stick to them,they would need no choices.Don't you see divorce rate isn't decreasing in fact increasing,sometimes check the internet too!and coming to Love,when there is responsibility,love fades away and what you are left with is loneliness even though you have a partner beside you,who takes least interest to spark up the lost love.'

'Maybe,but 'umm..(*sad pause*) one finds the right one always at the end!'

'Life is like a funfair.You prefer the carousel,going round and round on the spot.You prefer avoiding the ups and downs,any form of thrill or adventure,you are slow enough to keep pace.But I prefer the roller coaster taking risks,have that thrilling experience,and whooping with excitement till the journey lasts.'

'I do it because I want to keep everything simple and easy going.'

'Life itself isn't easy!have you got all that you wanted.We never get what we want,we get what we deserve,whether its good or bad,and we do not decide that.I live in the Brain and you in the Heart.There is the difference you think emotionally and I do logically.'

'We are part of the same family,we can be friends!'

'No!we can't!we are two different universe,we are two faces of a coin which are never meant to meet.Our nature differ,moreover I am dominating by nature,I like to see what is real and you on the other hand believe in illusion.My world is full of harsh realities which you are not strong enough to face,in fact you don't have any idea how it is to live there.''

'I still think,we could be friends,someday,maybe!'

'Whatever!"
(*turns her back and walks away*)

*Sighs softly*...


P.S.: Inspired from the film Black Swan

Friday, 11 May 2012

What is it as soft as Velvet?


I got back home around 2:00 p.m. totally exhausted…it felt as if I just got out of an oven!
As usual took a quick bath and grabbed a bite to eat… and with a book on my hand I dozed off…

I soon began to dream. There seemed to be a death-like stillness about me…I was alone. I woke to the sound of a noisy bird calling nearby and from there started wandering. It was getting dark and the forest was alive with sounds. Birds getting ready for bed, crickets starting up their chirping songs, and frogs in a small pond calling out all in a chorus. I sat down next to a large oak to gain my senses. I was disoriented and had no idea where I was. I didn't even know how I ended up here amongst all these trees. But everything around was so beautiful…I was wearing a peach- frilled dress, though having no idea where did I ever pick it up from(*or maybe borrowed*) it just didn’t seem to be mine, but it was beautiful, I looked like those fairies out of Narnia…

As I looked down there was a narrow path filled with trillions of rose petals, wandering who might have taken the pain to do such a thing…
But then I had to get back and find out where I was, so I decided to walk,sitting there wouldn't help either…Walking very slowly having the fear of hurting those soft petals, as far as I stretched my vision I could see the never ending path with more and more petals…and my eyes followed the squirrels racing through the trees, around the trunks. The birds fluttered about singing. But my thoughts again went back to the worry about how I ended up here. I walked don’t know for how long, and reached a lake covered with a blanket of white Lilies, it was as if it had snowed! I was so thirsty, so bent down and had a few sips of water and then decided to rest under the nearby tree. The sun was going down and a soft orange light filled up the place, and the flowers adding rainbow hue to the green backdrop…It seemed as if it was Heaven(*or Never Never land. Or maybe Oz*)! Everything around here was so mesmerizing.It seemed as if I was watching one of those 'faerie' films and  soon fell asleep…

I woke up again this time to the sound of my mother calling and found myself in my room and my head resting on my mother’s lap…then I checked the time, it was already 6:00 o’clock, and I realised that I was dreaming…I asked, ‘why didn't you wake me up before?’
She smiled and said I looked so peacefully beautiful that she didn’t want to disturb until it was time to finally wake me up…
It is believed specially among Indian Bengalis that one shouldn’t sleep in the evening, it is the time for evening prayers…though I don’t think the same way, I have my own reasons for not sleeping after 6(*perfect time to read a book or listen to music, the weather cools down so one can go for a walk or maybe I can talk to my friends as they are back from office by this time…blah…blah…*),so generally no one is allowed to sleep at that time in my house…(*Mother’s strict rule no.3*)

But before I jumped out of my bed, I sat for a second,thinking


“What is it which is as soft as Velvet?”……





Quoted: "There is no velvet so soft as a mother's lap, no rose as lovely as her smile, no path so flowery as that imprinted with her footsteps"~

~ Archibald Thompson ~

Thursday, 10 May 2012

Sometimes the Questions are Complicated,but the Answers are Simple..


Somewhere along the way, we have become convinced that life should be all good, all the time. If we are faced with difficulty even for a slightest moment, the first question we ask is "Why Me?” For some of us, the question pops up when we have a flat tire. Or get a cold. Or when we fail to acquire good grades, when we fight with our best friend, or when we don’t get the right clothes to wear for a party. And we feel so miserable about our life as if it’s not worth living; some feels as if it’s kind of cursed (*that includes me, sometimes*). But did our life ever promise us to be fair! You learn that lesson early from the schoolyard bully or a clique of cruel girls. Just about the time you forget, you’re reminded with another painful lesson that hurts as much as it did when you were ten years old and we're left groping with why so many bad things happen to us! Again and again…We are never satisfied with the life we are living. But has anyone ever thought, may be our life is far better than those suffering from “Real Problems”. No we never think of others but only ourselves. We exaggerate our problems to ourselves so much that we are left thinking nothing is bigger than it.


I remember an incident from where I learnt our own problems is not the only thing on earth we should feel miserable about. My nephew failed in his mathematics paper, as usual when the results were out he was really sad and feeling miserable the same way. And of course anyone would, I would if I were in his place! My sister scolded him very bad in harsh words after all…So I decided to cheer him up, why not take him out to the nearby park. We walked around for a while and finally sat down on a nearby bench. I was comforting him, when a middle-aged, little ‘weird looking’ man came up to ask why was the little one crying so horribly? I told him(*Mr.X*) that Ryan’s(*my nephew*) mother scolded him for his results..and that I was trying to cheer him up but nothing helped..blah..blah..
He(*Mr.X*) bought a bar of chocolate and asked him to play with his kids..(*who were of the same age as Ryan, near about*),and soon he forgot all about crying, his results, the scolding, everything.. I sat there watching him play with the others. 
Suddenly the man spoke asking, “So you are his aunt?”

I awkwardly replied, ”Yes.”

Then soon all the awkwardness was gone and we talked, he told me about his wife and his kids..blah..blah…(*I was though not listening to all of it*),but suddenly something that he said got my goosebumps rising..


"He is suffering from Melanoma!”
From the little I knew about scientific terms, ‘Holy shit! He is suffering from Cancer!’ 

The first thing that struck my mind, ‘he has two little kids(*aged between four and six*)!’..and secondly ‘it’s the a fast growing skin cancer as far as I remember(*the little that I had learnt looking up on Wiki and Google once about cancer when my grandfather was suffering from it*)

I was all concerned now, and to top it all up he said he is at its last stage! That he will die soon….

I was numb for a moment, no one talking neither moving but as the blood slowly rushed back, and I came back to reality, I realized how painful it might be for him to know that he has to die so soon, leaving his two little kids and his young wife all alone, that he will never be able to see his kids grow up, or take them to school.. How is his wife going to deal with the fact that her husband(*her better half*) will not be beside her, that she will be left to bring up her kids all by herself.. How will the kids deal with it of not having a father!

I stupidly asked him, ”Are you not sad about it?”

I looked at his face there were neither deep lines nor any sad look on his face, in fact he seemed satisfied and happy..

How could he be so contented?
I realized  He knows he has that little time left and he will not spoil it by making his family feel pathetic about it…he wants to live his life to the fullest, be happy and make people around him feel happy, as if they would feel less pain when he leaves, may be they would, I don’t know!
It was like as if he was signing off his life story on a happy note…



I realized most of us cry for things we don’t have, but we never consider ourselves lucky for the things we have. If that was the case then he should be the first person to ask the same question.. But he dint!


We feel so desperate to remove those weaknesses but what about those which can’t be changed or removed! 
We have to develop our strengths to such an extent that our weaknesses would not matter anymore. The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. And the only cure is by having a sense of gratitude which is, to always be thankful of what you have….


"Greatness is about how you fight your adversities.”

P.S.: Thank you for changing my way to look into life, wherever you are I know you are happy as always…

Wednesday, 9 May 2012

Raindrops fall from Heaven

We always talk about dancing in the rain,or walking hand in hand with the one we love,some of them write quotes about a rainy day,kids play around trying to get wet hiding from their mamma's..But has anyone thought how the raindrop feels when it falls onto earth!Has any of us ever thought what is it,so small in size yet together when it showers,it fills up a place..

I've a different way of looking at it.I feel there is actually life in a Raindrop!I know its weird to think something like that but why not give it a thought,may be for once..
Its like lonely tear falling from Cloud's eyes,we all do have our own share of happiness and sadness.One cant be happy all the time,same with the Cloud!Its like those tears breathe,has the power to feel pain,happiness,sadness,hatred,love..but fragile enough to explain..


Rain!whose soft architectural hands have the power to cut stones,and chisel to shapes of grandeur the very mountains.We humans are not innovative enough to do such,what its power of imagination can,then how can we not consider it living!

Because we are so preoccupied with other things in life that we forget to see those small little beautiful aspects of nature..I remember,I always sang this song whenever it rained(*in my childhood days*)

Rain, Rain,
Go away
come again
another day,
Little Johnny wants to play!

I never knew what did it mean(*then*),i always babbled away(*excited about rain*)..but now if I were to think what the poet might have thought when he wrote these lines,what could he mean,that he wanted us to know...May be I am wrong but I can always try,may be wont get all of it,but near about..If I describe it the simple way then...may be he meant the kids want to play so the rain is pleaded to come some other day..but if I think the other way round,may be it means 'Little Angel go away come again another day..the world..the people in fact are so busy that they have no time to look into anything but themselves..and onto this earth the little angel is not required..so come sometime else when people are in darkness and dreary and when they really feel the need for you to come and bring happiness and prosperity to all..

Raindrops are the most unique creation of God,without it there is no life,so I urge everyone to rethink,to think again the state of its worth..It kisses death to bring life on earth..
So next time don't just look out of the window but dream..widen you thoughts,let it go as wild as it can..thoughts are not bounded by anything..Always remember one doesn't have to be an intellect or use enchanted spell of words to write..Words have limitless power in itself,so just let it flow...............

Caged...

Lived in a dominated world,plucked down
My breathe costed a penny,
Longed for the wetness of rain drops in my throat,
But life was itself unhappy,
Unknown to the light of dawn..

Caged,chained away from all practicality,
Living materialistic life,
Weakness,infirmity,sickle dungeon ed me.
Away where could I go..
Unknown was the bright new world...

Sometimes thinking to escape away to eternity beyond the power of reach,
But yet harsh realization to be crushed to nothing,
Keeps me away from the other side of me..
Life was like a law that i couldn't breach.




Taking up the life of being favorite seemed like a crystal at first,
But who knew once slipped  would break into thousand pieces,unmendable!
Simplicity was slowly,unknowingly overshadowed by sophistication,
All that shines isn't gold at last!

Harsh realization of the continuation swept over me,
Long hard days and sleepless nights seem to never end,
No winds of change,
No enchanted fairy,
I laid and relaxed,
unaware now what was real...

Mirror! Mirror! On the Wall

I've spent too many days,
Staring into the mirror on the wall,
Which only magnifies the imperfection back to my smiling face..

I've spent too many night,
covering my tears and pain,
With a blanket made of laughter and lies..

I've spent too much time,
Stepping up onto a scale,
only to measure my inability to
succeed at the smallest goal..

I've spent almost 18 years,
Living in this world,
And just now I'm beginning to wonder,
If I've ever really lived at all

But then it changed for a moment while,
Filled me up with the beautiful taste of life,
I got swayed,
I was stupid,
Oblivion to the fact,that after every sunshine,
There is a silent darkness crawling up high..

If Only..

Dark were those days without your presence,
Your presence added taste to my life,
Your presence made my life completely true,
Without you my life was completely new.

Alone in this unknown world,
With staring bloodshot eyes,
Peeping in them to find someone true.

My life seemed incomplete without your presence,
Just as a flower without its fragrance,Longing and waiting for you,
Just as flower waits for the morning dew,
It seems so complete with the dew,
Just as i feel complete with and only with you.
You are my love,you are my life,
You are my day,you are my night,
Never question and ask for reason,
Never change yourself like change in season,
Never leave me and try to go,
Surely i'll die,that you know...

The Journey called Life......


Dear Diary,
       
It all began at the last day of school.A bag full of mixed feelings..excited about exploring the new world ahead,on the other hand sad about saying Goodbyes.As I look back on all that’s happened-growing up together,laughing out loud,crying quietly yet expecting our friends to hear it,there were times dreaming together what we would do after school,some would say ‘I want to be a fashion designer,some doctors,or may be some engineers’,but we never knew what actually future holds for us.The past may be gone forever some will keep in touch and some wont,but that dsnt stop life..it goes on..But yet at that moment a question superficially arise ’why does it take a minute to say hello and forever to say goodbye?’But none has the answer to it…

Life moved on to second phase,a new life in a new city,everyone’s beloved ‘Amar Kolkata’.Its like a hungry lion waiting patiently to hunt the gazelle.And it the only chance the gazelle has of its life to just run and run till it never ends..For a smalltown girl like me,my life was somewhat this when I was first sent to this big city.Life here was fast and one had to keep equal pace with it or you would be left behind.Here friends are family and Relatives mere acquaintance.The younger generation are busy either with colleges or drinking coffee with their partners,the middle aged trying to make themselves a good fortune,whereas the old group sitting in a tea stall talking about politics.Everyone’s busy with own lives,nobody has time to look back.Even in this hustle and bustle of people and buses,I found somewhat a slow creature like me!A person who promises to go as slow as I am,walk hand in hand with me,to comfort me when I am blue,and above all love me forever..and soon there was a  beautiful Love story slowly knitting it's web of dreams...

Suddenly life was different(in a good way,of course!)..I began to feel love in nearly every small thing,young baby crying dint annoy me(then),when 3a.m. coffee seemed more interesting than reading a book.Life seemed a lot easier then,when there was someone I knew I would go back to at the end of the day no matter how hard the day would be,someone to talk to or discuss even the smallest little thing,knowing that person would stand by me even when I am all messed up!But as we all know nothing is permanent,times ticking after every Sunday theres Monday,after 20 theres 21,after every year theres another blah..blah..so was my life!One never gets all that’s wanted,isn’t it?Life has its own way of giving.Life is said to be full of ups and downs,I just had my ups and now it was time to face the downs.

Moved on to third phase,I had a break up!I was no different I too cried and soaked my pillows many nights,trying out ways to get him back,trying to get him to talk to me and sort it out.But at that point its just a phase that every girl faces after heart break.Why Breakups are so tough to deal with?For some of them it may be a simple break up,and its adviced the solution to a breakup is another man.But is it so simple?So easy enough to let go…when you already have planned a beautiful future with that person!It isn’t as simple as it seems when it comes to “True Love”.Can A be ever replaced by B(in alphabets)?Can Sun be replaced by Moon?No it cant….everything and everyone has there own place and it cant be changed!Same is with your heart,but we choose not to think that way!

Friends were real support to me,but even though I feel I am nothing but all alone in the midst of everything.3 years I took to get myself back on the track of life,yet there is a gap which I cant just fill up.Even though I try to but it seems my tries are not good enough..

College is over and life gets more serious,theres more to than just thinking about my last break up.Its still a part of life but theres more to my life..I am all grown up,and in no time from twenties I will be in my thirties and so on…This is the time I have to work upon,this is the time when I will be what I actually wanted to be,I have to discover what I really want in life..There are people who expect a lot from me,and its time to stand upto their expectations.Life will give good as well as bad in equal share,and one has to take up both and live with it throughout..If it gives us reason to cry,then it also give us people who make us happy..its just we have to find out what we really want and in what ways..I have begun my journey not even half the way,yet to taste more adventure and have fun...