How Typical....

Let me begin this post with my dear,sweet mother....I will come up with others too...don't worry,just keep reading... 
She is like any other Indian Bengali women.I will explain why....:)

Incidents:(from my personal experiences)

1.She is of those types,you know,who put water in bottle of hand wash liquid so that it lasts a month longer.(How typical of her,Gawd...lol)

2.Some workers were working on fixing up a part of our house,my father couldn't give all his time on looking after and checking them up,so he asked mom(housewife and so no external work) to do it for him.

During this time,one day I was sitting by the window watching them work(as I had nothing else to do,so to kill time,I found that was the only thing I could possibly do),suddenly mom appears in the scene,directing them where to dump all the cement and spare items(as she din't want the lawn to be left all dirtied),and what I heard forced me to bust out laughing.
She said,"O Bhaiya!ehkhan ka mati katke,katke,udhar felan,felan!"
(Ha Ha Ha...what was that 'hin-ben',some new invented language with mix of bengali and hindi...thats my cute mom,who confidently speaks wrong hindi all the time!)

3.I was on a bus when I overheard two young ladies talk about a road side hoarding.I turned,myself to see what was the hoarding advertisement about,it was about the brand 'Jockey'.
Fine.
Suddenly I hear one of them say,"Oii dekh!ami eii brand pori,its 'Jokey'"(what...what did I hear? ladies grow up!trying to be hep,when you actually don't know how to correctly pronounce the right word....its 'J-O-C-K-E-Y' and definitely not 'Jokey')

4.On one usual day of college,our class decided to go for a film,(includes everyone),I don't talk to too many people except my friends(so din't know many other girls),as usual I was seated with my friends at one corner.

During interval when the lights were turned on,a girl(exactly from the middle,whom I saw in class,rarely,maybe she din't attend classes daily or what,I don't know,but rarely seen her,sometimes appearing for classes)started talking to her group of friends quite vigorously.Soon the topic of discussion passed on to us,and what was it?....will blow up anybody's mind...!!
"She said,'I ate that man's fart!'(she actually meant,that,the man who passed by to move out,farted,that to right exactly on her face,and of course she smelt it)"
(For a moment I was like,'huh!what!ate a fart?how?is it edible?how can someone eat A FART!' then...I couldn't stop laughing...how typical,my goodness!some people really need help!) 

5.One of my cousin,had visited us on one of her holidays.I was chatting with her one afternoon,and her phone rings,her some colleague,it was.He probably,may have asked her to give him somebody's phone number,so she told him the number in this way...'nine-seven-three-four-two-one-four-oh-six-six'.
(I was wondering what was that 'Oh' in a phone number,never heard of it before!So I asked her,'Di,what was that oh when you said the numbers?' She replied,'that was '0'...I realized she meant 'ZERO'....uff....another new..invention...was there not enough? that addition had to be made!This is India and not America!)

6.My neighbour uncle has a very bad habit of poking his nose on every matter,and my bad luck that his window is just oppositely facing mine.So whenever he sees that I am listening to music or doing something else other than sitting with my books,he taunts,and always tells me to study.
This irritates me a lot..why can't he just mind his own business...Yet just because Mom's always around I simply keep quiet or just pick my things up and move to any other room,i don't argue or answer back.
One day I was looking at a diary gifted to me,which had pictures of all the seven wonders of the world,as usual he saw I was looking into the diary so he said,'Ki Ankita!ki khule bosecho,porasunar boi niye boso,kaaje debe'...I was so irritated(like totally irritated irritated) I turned this time and asked him,'Uncle,then picking up my diary to show him,Do you know what is this?'
He thought and then again thought and confidently replied,'Ota Statue of liberty!'
I busted out laughing,the picture I showed him was of Christ Redeemer statue in Rio de.I din't say anything other than just laughing out loud,that was enough to teach him a lesson!(too much knowledge is harmful,people who always talk about knowing everything doesn't actually know anything...these are typical ones who find enjoyment and satisfaction in others' unhappiness or bad mood,as because they have nothing interesting left to do in their lives,so they derive happiness out of others' sadness,they are nothing but losers!I'm happy this incident happened,it has acted as a medicine against this taunts..Now I often see his curtains are pulled down for most of the times,and I can as a result relax and do whatever I want,PEACEFULLY!)

7.On a cultural day,our college professor asked a boy from the class,pointing to the portrait that hung on the side wall of our classroom,"Tell me,Ashish,who is this great personality?"
He stood up and from his expressions,everyone understood,he din't know.

Yet everyone waited for an answer.
He replied scratching his head in confusion,"Yes sir!I know this man,he is Ramkrishna"
Everyone including Professor looked at him in astoundment.
It was the portrait of Swami Vivekananda,and he said,'Ramkrishna'.
(this is what happens when there is too much effect of 'Gen Y-ism'.Our youth now stands here,and unfortunately(ashamed) ,I too belong from this era.)

8.Yes,one afternoon,I went in looking for something to munch on,when I see the servant talking to Mom.I stood for a while to listen,and there she was giving news to my mom about whats happening in the neighbour's house.(Gawd!Television and news channels weren't enough,I suppose.
Dear guys,
I introduce to all of you the modern era PNPC journalists-all our very own servants!
~~~clap~~~clap~~~)

9.I went to the Public Service office(Kolkata),one day,and went up to a man and asked him,"Sir,where can I find the forms for the examination?"
He replied,"Jao okhane j Mahdam r Saaiir bose ache oder jigesh koro!"(Really when will these people learn its 'S-I-R' and not 'S-A-A-I-I-R' and 'M-A-D-A-M' and not 'M-A-H-D-A-M',its high time they get it right!)

10.On the first day of Graduation examination,we(a friend and I) reached college to check for our rooms on the notice board.And what we find?A crowd gathered right in front of it,and who were these people?
No they weren't students,but their parents!
Ridiculous!we were 21 already,yet some of them needed their parents to drop them to college.
As we were entering through the gate,what do we hear!a parent calling out(loudly) to his son,"Babusona,jol niyechis toh,pen,pencil,rubber(can't even say eraser),paper mon diye likhbi,thakurer naam niye likhbi,taratari likhbi"(and they are already half the way inside the hall,where generally parents are forbidden,they stand there and watch until their child is seated(as if someone will kidnap them from the class).Then they wait outside till the examination is over to take their child again back home.)
(It seems the parents have come to appear for the exam instead,these are those types who need their parents to feed them,take them to school/colleges/tuition and bring them back.Their parents decide what clothes they should wear,or what they must eat,what they will do in future,deciding their career,and last of all even searching them their life partner!I don't understand when will they grow up!)

I doubt that there will be any change in these above mentioned types of people.They will continue to do the same thing and if not me,somebody else will again write about them,someday,and maybe much more amusing facts.....till then enjoy and pick up every bit from your daily life,and I bet,if you look carefully you will always find various funny stuffs around,just like me..