"Dear God," she prayed, "let me be something every minute of every hour of my life. Let me be gay; let me be sad. Let me be cold; let me be warm. Let me be hungry...have too much to eat. Let me be ragged or well dressed. Let me be sincere - be deceitful. Let me be truthful; let me be a liar. Let me be honorable and let me sin. Only let me be something every blessed minute. And when I sleep, let me dream all the time so that not one little piece of living is ever lost."
― Betty Smith, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn
Honestly,I don't have the answers.I'm as confused as you are.We work so hard,everyday for what? To survive,and survive what?Survive in the competitive world,survive in our jobs,survive from a broken heart,survive to fulfill our responsibilities towards family,above all survive keeping our identity intact.
How many succeed?How many does not get lost in the midst of it?Can you stop not getting hurt?Can you change the direction of sun if its bothering you?Can you predict whats going to happen the next morning?Can you stop growing up?
Remember when you were a kid and your biggest worry was,like,if you'd get a pink frock for your birthday or if you'd get to eat cookies for breakfast or what would you wear to your best friend's birthday party.Being an adult? Totally overrated.I mean seriously,don't be fooled by all the hot shoes and the no parents anywhere telling you what to do.Adulthood is responsibility.Responsibility,it really does suck.Adults have to be places and do things and earn a living and pay the rent,deal with heart aches,work to survive.And when you are dealing with all of these everyday,childhood,bikes,colorful berets,or your pink frock seems kind of much better,isn't it?
When we were kids and we saw adults as all-knowing authority figures who had shit figured out? As the people who were allowed to tell you what to do and make rules, because they were the ones who were running the world? And now that when we are in that place we laugh at what big idiot we had been to think that,to assume their life is better than us and maybe in the same way those adults looked at the carefree young ones and thought that those were the days that was best.We can never judge or conclude,and even if we do there would be numerous unanswered questions attached to it.
Being a kid we always are in the hurry to grow up.Everything lures us into it,literally everything.We want to be the most popular girl in school,we wants the attention,we want to know the dirty secrets,to bully the nerd,bitch about people,all of it.We all do and all these things bring us out from being a kid to the world of adulthood.I'm not saying its something unusual.Its same for everyone,you,me,my neighbor or somebody else.And we cannot stop it cause we are human,its in our nature to want things that way.
I'm not complaining here.If you think that then you are wrong.I'm here to discover bits and pieces that I can to know more about myself,to know what I feel,to know what I used to,or how I wanted to be and who am I,now.Because they never told us how would it be or we dint get a user manual to discover adulthood or the person we should be.We are all same here,unknown to what lies ahead,trying to find everyday the clues and hints from our daily life with the hope that one day if we find all of the pieces then we could put it together to find what it means completely.Here comes the question.
Have you figured out yet? Are you just wandering around,still trying to figure out how life works as you go along?
If yes then you are probably not an adult yet.Now you would ask me then what's the point talking about 'we have become adults' when I'm saying here we are not.Yes! what I want to say is actually we never grow up.None of us have or can completely discover what we want from life.
There's no such thing as a grown-up.We move on,we move out,we move away from our families and form our own.But the basic insecurities,the basic fears and all those old wounds just grow up with us.We get bigger,we get taller,we get older.But,for the most part,we're still a bunch of kids,running around the playground,trying desperately to fit in.There's no test,there's no light,and there's no tangible event that signifies the transition into adulthood.Its not some community that you can join and instantly call yourself 'an adult'.
All I'm wanting to say is I just don't want to live with regrets.Regrets of growing up too fast,regrets of missing being innocent as a kid,regret of living too much life,regret of not saying thing when I'm suppose to,regret of hurting people and not saying "sorry',regret of letting go,regret of moving on or regret of crying too much over smiling.I just want to live in such a way so that when I look back I can see the image of me standing there with a beautiful smile on her face.
Its doesn't matter if I'm alone or if I'm standing with someone,I need to be happy,and that's all.I'm dealing with all of it in the same way like you all out there.Live every moment because once its gone you are never going to get it back.Just want to say be happy no matter how hard life may seem to be,don't judge yourself about how others think you to be,someday be old enough and start reading fairy tales again,do what's right,make mistakes and don't run away from it,have less disappointments find more happiness,don't rush into things,nurture your soul at every step,don't try so hard,we never get out of it alive,anyway,try being more of you,rediscover the real you!
"I walked over to the hill where we used to go and sled. There were a lot of little kids there. I watched them flying. Doing jumps and having races. And I thought that all those little kids are going to grow up someday. And all of those little kids are going to do the things that we do. And they will all kiss someone someday. But for now, sledding is enough. I think it would be great if sledding were always enough, but it isn't."
-Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
And the day when you look back and wish there was nothing to change,is the day you become an 'ADULT'.
There's no such thing as a grown-up.We move on,we move out,we move away from our families and form our own.But the basic insecurities,the basic fears and all those old wounds just grow up with us.We get bigger,we get taller,we get older.But,for the most part,we're still a bunch of kids,running around the playground,trying desperately to fit in.There's no test,there's no light,and there's no tangible event that signifies the transition into adulthood.Its not some community that you can join and instantly call yourself 'an adult'.
All I'm wanting to say is I just don't want to live with regrets.Regrets of growing up too fast,regrets of missing being innocent as a kid,regret of living too much life,regret of not saying thing when I'm suppose to,regret of hurting people and not saying "sorry',regret of letting go,regret of moving on or regret of crying too much over smiling.I just want to live in such a way so that when I look back I can see the image of me standing there with a beautiful smile on her face.
Its doesn't matter if I'm alone or if I'm standing with someone,I need to be happy,and that's all.I'm dealing with all of it in the same way like you all out there.Live every moment because once its gone you are never going to get it back.Just want to say be happy no matter how hard life may seem to be,don't judge yourself about how others think you to be,someday be old enough and start reading fairy tales again,do what's right,make mistakes and don't run away from it,have less disappointments find more happiness,don't rush into things,nurture your soul at every step,don't try so hard,we never get out of it alive,anyway,try being more of you,rediscover the real you!
-Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
And the day when you look back and wish there was nothing to change,is the day you become an 'ADULT'.
Nice one i love your picture a lot... :)
ReplyDeleteThank You Arjun!
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